were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
