I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
