Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
