the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
