what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
