yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
