# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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