she was so not down for the gang bang
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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