Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
