She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
