Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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