Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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