and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
