May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
