I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
