I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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