sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
