I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
PANTIES FOUND
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