Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
