The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
