...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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