Can i not drive my cunt home
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
