I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
