Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
