I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
