The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
