YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I will die if light touches me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
