Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
