So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
