guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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