I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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