Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
