I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
