I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
