id be glad to
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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