you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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