Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
