I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize