how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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