found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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