im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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