I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
