I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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