well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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