but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
