Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just pynch a tree in the face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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