garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
