"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
