Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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