Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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