Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
