toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
