Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You dont lie about slip and slides
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
