..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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